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HarvestBall
jwg

Cats' Eye for the Dog Guy

FelineFive
From left to right: Miss Griggles, Percy, BurningBright, Xerxes, Paul

Miss Griggles, the Grooming Guru, is a quiet cat who has been a member of our household for at least 20 years. She keeps her coat in immaculate condition and has special expertise in how to keep her head on straight. She will might also give advice about how to be assertive when necessary while maintaining an attitude of calm serenity as major goals are worked on.

Percy, the Design Doctor, has considerable experience in decor. His almost six foot body, somewhat atypical for a lynx, is frequently found to be artistically draped over furniture or on the banister.

BurningBright, the Fashion Savant knows how to wear stripes in flamboyant colors, and thus stand out in a crowd. As a Detroit Tigers fan, he is has shown how to be resilient in the face of adversity and not get too upset when things don't go right. He has demonstrated ultimate loyalty (an important element of long term relationships) to his two best friends, Balthazar (unicorn) and Timothy (zebra).

Xerxes, the Food and Wine Connoisseur, has considerable experience foraging for food and exhibits discriminating taste seeking the very best in what is available.

Paul, the Culture Vulture, is very strong on the qualities of interpersonal relationships. He often is asked to mediate disputes, and to encourage other people to behave wisely demonstrating their high degrees of culture.

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Michael

Michael is the only member of our family who wears clothes (fj was shocked that we had so many naked people in our household and presented him to our household. And as you can see, he knows nothing about good taste. He wears a bulky sweater in the middle of the summer and is wearing a rather motley pair of what look like Capri Pants with uneven leg length. He would like to have a serious boy friend.

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Burning Bright: Michael, you need to discard that sweater during these warm months and if you would roll up the legs of your trousers a bit, you'd look a lot better. We should take you out to look for a better colored pant that will go better with your brown and white complexion as well as a light-weight and more elegant top to wear in the summer.

Percy: You seem to have no place that is yours. You just hang out any old place such as John's chair. How are you going to attract someone that way? Let's see if we can find a nice spot for your pad. And we can decorate it with some nice objects since there are lots of things lying about in the household.

Paul: You are a very friendly type and get along well with others, but you need to develop your personality to be not as extremely canine. Remember this is a HeteroSpecies household. I don't mean that you should not be dog-acting but still you should demonstrate an air of flexibility while maintaining your friendly disposition.

Xerxes: The food that you eat is very important to good nutrition and also to show potential boy friends that you are interested in their desires. You don't want to be offering Kibbles, or MilkBone to potential mates unless you already know that is what they like. You know how I like zebra a lot but that is not what I offer to Balboa when he hangs out with me. (BurningBright: and he doesn't want to frighten Timothy either).

Miss Griggles: Your skin color is a bit like mine, but it needs to be treated properly so that it is silky and nice to caress. We also need some eye treatment to soften your eyes and something to remove some emphasis on those large floppy ears. This will make you seem like a more focussed person and increase your attractiveness.

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A new show in the making? :D

I think Michael needs a holiday from this oppressive uncivilised naked household.

Ignoring the "oppressive" comment, why are you conflating "uncivilised" with "naked"? There's a strong implication in your text that "naked household" is bad, and I just don't see that -- especially when the ones who're naked have plenty of fur to keep warm (when it's cool)....

So where's the After pic?

I'm seeing a dance-camp sketch in here somewhere...

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