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Steven P Dyer - RIP

Early last week Steve Dyer died. As of several days ago the cause was unknown but it probably was a heart attack. Steve affected the lives of many people over the years. He created net.motss (now soc.motss), the first USENET newsgroup for gay people to meet and converse in 1983. Called motss for members of the same sex because it was felt that if had gay and lesbian in the name many sites wouldn't carry it. He, with Brian Gollum created the Bear Mailing List in 1988. He also gave many people accounts on SPDCC, his home server, in the days when if you didn't work for a University or a few companies you couldn't get access to the Net.

I've met many of my current friends and acquaintances via soc.motss - starting as electronic friends we met face-to-face at motss cons and at parties - frequently at Steve and Tony's house in Cambridge when they lived there. Many people have recently recounted their own tales of how Steve affected them because of these electronic media and his generosity. He will really be missed.

Visiting hours at the funeral home are on SUnday from 2-6. The funeral is on Monday at 10am. See below for details. There will be a gathering for his friends at Jasper's Summer Shack in Cambridge at 6:30 on Sunday.

From the Obit in the Boston Globe:

Visiting hours in the John J. O'Connor & Son Funeral Home 740 Adams St. (near Gallivan Blvd.) DORCHESTER Sunday 2 to 6 pm. Funeral Mass in St. Brendan's Church Monday morning at 10 o'clock. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited. In lieu of flowers remembrances may be made to St. Brendan's School, 23 Rita Rd., Dorchester, MA 02124. Interment Cedar Grove Cemetery. For directions and messages of condolence, www.oconnorandson.com.

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I've always thought that calling it motss was a stroke of genius because it isn't obviously GLBT to anyone who doesn't know. Hiding in plane site has probably stopped more than one troll from harassing the group. Albeit, not all.

is it just me or was that "official" obit one of the most disrespectful, erasing acts imaginable? I hope the visiting hours are overtaken by people who really knew the man, that donations go to an organization (presumably) more meaningful to *him*, not to the family, and that the post-visiting hour gathering is full of love and kindness, good memories, and laughter.

The gathering was very nice; people were in good spirits. Tony, his partner, was in pretty good spirits considering the situation; his sister was there too, and they went off to the airport to pickup their brother.

Which Sunday, please? Today, or the 20th?

It does seem mean not even to mention Tony in the obituary.

It was today; the funeral is tomorrow. We had a good crowd at Summer Shack and Tony seems to be in good spirits considering the situation. His sister was there and they left to pick up his brother at the airport. Steve was not out to his family. Max said that there was a good crowd at the funeral home and that Steve looked great in his casket.

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