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Fashion Resolutions for the new year

Tina Cassidy had an article in the Boston Globe today with 10 fashion resolutions for 2003. What a hoot! Resolutions with excerpts from the explanations appear below. What a concept: face furniture.

1. wear less black
...we want happy. we want spring. We want Easter Egg Colors, Peter Pan collars, polka dots, prim dresses, and general lightness of being...

2. invest in the perfect red lipstick
...And after many seasons of sheer tones, vibrant lips on an otherwise plain face are refreshing...

3. wear a hat
...Time to liberate the vintage collection from round boxes...

4. eat more salmon
Does the pink fish (I don't think she means pinkfish?), with all those omega-3 fatty acids acting as antioxidants, really cure wrinkles?....

5. maintain the haircut
...Maybe even time for a whole new look...

6. learn to sew
...Sick of trudging to the tailor to get pants hemmed...

7. spread the gospel on teeth whitening
...Then we saw the Clonaid lady, whose mouth is as scary as the prospect that they'd really cloned a baby...

8. get funky footwear
...Nuala, Christy Turlington's yoga line, has produced a pair [...] with magnets on the bottom that supposedly correlate to pressure points in the body....

9. update glasses
Finding new face furniture is a good idea...

10. broaden shopping horizons
...There's more to buy than fresh ravioli on Atwells Avenue, in the Federal Hill section [of Providence]...



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Wear less black? What would I wear?

Sometimes you are less than helpful.

Blue. Not one of them light robin's-egg blues, but the deep royal type.

But why on earth would you want me to give you fashion tips? The horror! The horror!

They fade real fast in the wash. My experiences with one Kenneth Cole shirt in that area has mamde me avoid that brand of clothes from now on.

(If I do it head to toe I'll look like an airline steward.)

Does the pink fish (I don't think she means pinkfish?), with all those omega-3 fatty acids acting as antioxidants, really cure wrinkles?....


Okay, the cat's out of the bag. I really do cure wrinkles. Honest.


Why on earth would I want to cure that? Now, if only I could cure baldness . . .

Why would you want to cure that?

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